i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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