well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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