Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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