I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
