I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
