Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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