my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
