Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
