Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
