In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
