Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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