I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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