I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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