Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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