i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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