I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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