well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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