is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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