I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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