I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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