She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
