i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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