so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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