I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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