I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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