OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
