no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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