wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
