I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
