When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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