She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
