hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
look no pants
I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
