I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
