She's JV to your varsity
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
