i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
