You really coming over, don't trick.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
