Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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