I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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