he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
