I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's official drugs can't kill me
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
