thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
