i permit you to call me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
