Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he was CRYING into my vagina
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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