Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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