Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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