i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
