i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
