Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
