I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
