Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's rum buckets o'clock
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
