i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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