My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
