Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
