What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
